Yearly Archives: 2018
Agony Review: A Captivating Disappointment
Hell, by its very nature, shouldn't be enjoyed, but there's still something enthralling and entertaining in seeing creators imagine it in various ways. Agony, on the other hand, is less about Hell as a vehicle for entertainment or even fear. Agony's version of Hell is simply a place of unimaginable horror. It is depraved beyond reckoning, a place whose very brick and mortar is composed of atrocities. It is a place that never opens its sick, emaciated maw except to blaspheme and torment. Hell is terrifying in Agony, which goes hand in hand with the fact that the game is also torturous to play.
In Agony, you are a freshly fallen wretch who wakes up at the gates of Hell with his memories--including his true name--burned away during the trip down. Under normal circumstances, it'd be torture time for the rest of eternity, but somehow, the new meat walks through the gates with most of his wits about him, and only one piece of knowledge: that Hell has a guardian angel, the Red Goddess. Only she can help him regain his lost memories, and help him escape perdition. So begins a long, arduous journey of survival horror--closer in function to Clock Tower or Alien Isolation than Resident Evil--to meet the Goddess, and beg for her dark blessing.
Agony's single most breathtaking achievement is Hell itself. It is an enormous, heretical province of terror, the ungodly conceptual Venn diagram between Hieronymous Bosch, H.R. Giger, and Clive Barker. The very ground you wake up on in the game's first level is made of rotting pink flesh, the mortar made from the crushed bodies and blood of the hideous unborn, a process a later cutscene even shows you in great detail. The architecture all around you is a pulsating gothic nightmare, cathedrals of wide-eyed corpses and skeletons, some of whom are still alive, trapped twitching inside for eternity.











It's because the world itself is so impressive that the enemy design then comes across so disappointing and predictable. While beautiful in detail, demons look mostly like the typical Doom interpretation of demons, and female variants tend to veer closer to being strippers-with-sharp-teeth as opposed to something legitimately imaginative. The Red Goddess herself is a near constant source of eyerolls, mostly coming off as a bloodied burlesque performer, with an inappropriately over-the-top voice performance that wouldn't be out of place in a commercial for a sex hotline. There are design elements that push the envelope--mostly centered around some truly unsettling perversions of genitalia--but the game's ham-handed attempts to be sexy, even in a sinister manner, is incongruous with the skin-crawling nature of the rest of the game.
All the wretched humans shambling around Hell--you included--are little more than desiccated revenants. You can walk--or, more accurately, shuffle along at a snail's pace--perform a limited sprint, and jump. There are no weapons to be had, though you can pick up torches, which provide light, but little else. When you come across an enemy, you have only three options: run, sneak, or hide. You can technically sneak around, and there’s even a power-up to be gained later that supposedly lessens the noise you make. It is still very, very easy to be heard and seen, hiding spots aren't always close by, and aside from a rising musical sting, there’s no indicator of where exactly an enemy is in relation to you.
There's only a few different classes of enemy you see throughout your play time, ranging from swarms of insects to Lovecraftian behemoths that can snatch up your soul. With only a couple of exceptions, getting caught by an enemy is typically a one- or two-hit death. As such, an hour's work can be flushed down the toilet just by hitting the wrong enemy in a group. Later on, you can actually possess a few classes of demon, but this is never as empowering or thrilling as you might expect. Agony doesn't seem to know how to capitalize on its most promising aspects.
You do, however, have one big trick up your shriveled sleeve: if you should die another death in Hell, your soul can actually fly out of your current body, and forcibly possess another. That's only if you can find a vulnerable victim, though, and pull off the black shroud preventing them from being possessed. Otherwise, after about 10-15 seconds of being dead again, your soul dies a true death. The trick of it is not just finding the last person you unshrouded, but typically finding them in a maze, with an extremely limited and obscured field of vision while disembodied. If/when you die, the Goddess keeps you in Hell, though, and sends you back to the last checkpoint. Even then, checkpoints are a whole other problem. They're represented by a special mirror, where a soul must be sacrificed, but the mirrors are hidden deep in each level. Agony treats basic progressional milestones the way most games treat obscure collectibles.
The checkpoint issue is one tiny facet of the game's overarching issue: Hell is too big for its own good. Your one navigational tool, the Destiny Lines, sends out a little neon cluster of lights that can point you in the right direction, but often the cluster gets just as confused as you are, leading you through walls or ceilings, instead of along a proper route, which can be difficult to discern in the chaotic and painfully dim environments. In addition, on the game's default difficulty, the Lines are a limited resource. The idea here is sound, if the idea was, in fact, to make surviving in Hell feel like a Sisyphean struggle, wandering a realm that mortal men have no mastery over. It doesn't make for an enjoyable experience.
When you're not losing chunks of progress, the rest of the game pits you up against two types of glorified scavenger hunts: collecting a small number of important objects and arranging them in a very specific way to open a door, or finding the correct sigil among dozens written in the environment that will unlock the next area. The first kind is usually easy enough, though oddly, the most difficult one in the game is right at the beginning, where you're thrown into an expansive labyrinth full of enemies, and no way to save your progress when you've grabbed any of the resources you need to continue. Others are easier, but still more of a trudging annoyance than anything. The second kind involves exploring around to find the sigil, often involving backtracks into dangerous areas, only to get back to the door and discover the sigil you picked up doesn't unlock your door. This kind of slow and infuriating repetition typifies Agony from start to finish.
These are issues ironically exacerbated by the fact that it's all taking place in one of the most abominable, depressing, and fundamentally disgusting environments imaginable. Worst of all, you grow numb to Agony's uniquely repulsive flair over time. You start thinking about the environment in practical nonplussed terms, instead of the grim wonder that strikes you in the beginning. Distress turns to disinterest, then--even as the bigger revelations about the protagonist and the nature of his torture come to light--turn to total apathy. I entered Agony’s Gates of Hell with a slack-jawed gasp. It is such a disappointment to have to have left it with a shrug.
Just Cause and Rage 2 Dev Avalanche Studios Acquired by Nordisk Film
Avalanche Studios, the developer behind Rage 2 and the Just Cause series, has been acquired by Nordisk Film but will continue to operate as normal.
Nordisk announced the acquisition is the largest in the company's 111-year history. Having been minority owners in Avalanche Studios since last year, Nordisk dropped €89 million to secure the remaining shares and now owns the game developer outright.
"At Nordisk Film, we are determined to strengthen our position in the growing global gaming market," said Nordisk CEO Allan Mathson Hansen in a press release. "We want to build a sizeable portfolio of game developers. Our engagement in Avalanche Studios proves that we are committed to substantial and long-term investments."
Borderlands Re-Release Might Be Coming to PC and Consoles
Borderlands might see new life on PC, PlayStation 4 and Xbox One.
Gematsu reports the Korean game rating board has listed Borderlands: Game of the Year Edition for those platforms. Though what's a bit intriguing is that the same-named title is already available on Steam.
Borderlands 2 and Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel have already been remastered for the current generation with Borderlands: The Handsome Collection. The first game, however, hasn't received the same treatment, though Borderlands is backward compatible on Xbox One.
The Americans: 6 WTF Questions from the Final Episode
Warning: Spoilers for The Americans' final episode...
Now that The Americans has ended, running its final covert op in "START" (our review here), it's time to look at some of the loose ends left behind. Namely, the immediate fate of most every character who aren't Philip and Elizabeth - as the power couple managed to successfully hightail it back to Russia, where they'll have to stay - well - forever.
Showrunners Joel Fields and Joe Weisberg purposefully left a handful of important characters dangling in limbo, only showing us their immediate state, in the moment, with no true inkling of what might await them down the road. All we have to go on here is actual history (Glasnost, the fall of the Soviet Union, etc) and our own imaginations - which will run openly optimistic or painfully pessimistic depending on the person.
The Elder Scrolls: Legends is Entirely Swapping Developers
The Elder Scrolls: Legends will be swapping development teams entirely, according to a statement to IGN from Bethesda. The original developer, Dire Wolf Digital, will be transitioned off of the project and replaced by Dropzone developer Sparkypants Studios.
Bethesda is, of course, still publishing the game, as well as assisting directly with the transition. Bethesda’s Pete Hines tells me that they’ve essentially already “been developing this new version of Legends for months under Bethesda’s guidance and direction.”
A sneak peak at The Elder Scrolls: Legends' redesigned play area.
ABC Reportedly Looking Into Roseanne Spin-Off
There's a long shot that ABC will try to salvage the Roseanne reboot without the titular star.
EW reports the network is exploring the idea of a new show with Roseanne's co-stars, like John Goodman, Laurie Metcalf and Sara Gilbert. However, a noted issue is that Roseanne Barr created the characters with Matt Williams, so she would see financial upside with a spin-off.
ABC canceled Roseanne earlier this week, after Barr made a racist comment on Twitter toward former Obama adviser Valerie Jarrett. ABC Entertainment president Channing Dungey called the statement "abhorrent, repugnant and inconsistent with our values."
Unreleased 2nd Generation Pokemon Found in 20 Year-Old Demo
Multiple unreleased 2nd generation Pokemon have been discovered, including never-used baby forms and evolutions, different starter Pokemon, and other entirely abandoned concepts.
A recently uploaded ROM of the 1997 Nintendo Spaceworld demo for Pokemon Gold and Silver has been unpacked by fans at The Cutting Room Floor. The demo pre-dates the final version of the game by two years - and a lot seems to have changed in that time.
Most notable are the Pokemon themselves. For instance, the Cyndaquil and Totodile starters and their evolutions didn't exist at this point - instead, they were Flambear and Cruz:
WWE SmackDown to Remain Live on FOX Despite Move to Friday
We still have a lot of questions regarding the WWE/FOX deal that will bring SmackDown to the FOX network in fall of 2019. Once it was noted that FOX was likely to air WWE's Blue Brand on Fridays, many wondered what that would mean with regards to the show being live as WWE's production schedule forever has been to tape SmackDown on Tuesday nights, the day after RAW, regardless of what night SmackDown aired on at the time.
"SmackDown Live," as the series is called right now, is a fairly new branding as the show switched from Syfy Thursdays to USA Tuesdays back in January of 2016.
Nintendo Share Prices Spike After Pokemon Let’s Go Reveal
Nintendo's share prices have rocketed following the reveal of the new Pokemon titles this week.
Pokemon Let's Go Pikachu and Let's Go Eevee were officially announced this week, and it seems to have gone down well with investors. Nintendo's share price jumped up 4.3 percent at closing yesterday.
Bloomberg tech reporter Yuji Nakamura noted the increase on Twitter, and a quick Google search of the company's share prices shows a continued rise today.
What Did You Think of This Week’s Comics?
The comic book industry wrapped up the month of May on an epic note. Marvel delivered the climax of Dan Slott's long Amazing Spider-Man saga and a new Star Wars comic focused on Donald Glover's Lando, while DC capped off Justice League: No Justice, launched Man of Steel and published a new chapter of Doomsday Clock.
Scroll down to check out our new reviews and thinkpieces, and be sure to let us know your favorite books of the week in the comments below.